Girls are ruthless!

  I used to teach kindergarten in a rural town called Deokso 덕소. It should have been suburbian Seoul since it was located just 15/20 minutes away from Seoul. I'm sure, all the derelicts were banished to this small town. But that's beside the point.  When I taught there, I had these two girls in my class who were about four years old fight everyday for my attention. It was actually really creepy to see these girls do evil shit to each other. 

:16 and then the step over

  One day, let's say, Amy was leaning on my shoulder while I was grading her paper. Elaine came outta nowhere and slammed Amy to the ground! Then Elaine stepped over Amy like Dwayne Wade did to Varejao after dunking in his face! And then said that's how you get the teacher's attention! After the step over she nestled up on my shoulder and gave me the cute little epileptic eye blink akin to Walter Disney's female characters.  I wanted to laugh but I was also like DAYUM!
  I was talking with AK 47 about girls so young trying to get attention from males.  I noticed that the boys cling to the female teachers. And really don't give a shit about me until it's time to do boy stuff. Then of course, they love me.  Since she did major in early childhood developement she informed me that children as young as three begin to show sexual preference.
  This morning when I can into work Hillary, my four year old student wanted to show me that she got her nails painted, that she got a new piece of plastic jewelery and she was wearing her favorite dress.  This is the child that claims that I like Lee Yeon (her nemesis) better. Maybe I do.  Then Lee Yeon walks into the classroom, wearing a new outfit. She also wanted me to what she was wearing.  Oh how I wish adult women would be so upfront....but thats another blog.

  The thing I found remarkable in both situations was that in the latter scenario the other girl felt outclassed and just gracefully bowed out. Still I watched her looking for her chance to play with Reggie Teacher.  In the former scenario one student didn't give a fuck about the other student and slammed her showing me that either she was crazy or that she would fight for what she wanted. Or both.  I've seen this kinda behavior within both sexes but it is strange to see it in children as young as four. 

  For example my student Hillary forces me to do stuff I don't want to do like look at maps and point out where I live in America and where we are in Korea.  She forces me to talk to my mom on the phone and we pretends to go and visit her. When the boys wanna play she says no then she says yes but under one condition...she has to be there.  All the boys are looking weird and I'm simply apologizing with my eyes. When I finally let her know she is smothering me she gets weird but she always comes back around. Kinda sounds familiar right. She is simple exhibiting the same behavior we adults engage in. It makes me wonder if gender roles/behavior are pure genetics or are children picking up social cues during thier early stages of developement.

Let's watch donkeys fuck...

  After I finished smoking my dart (shout out to Tim Belanger), I headed straight to bed to cuddle up with Stephen Hawking. Well, not actually Stephen Hawking because that would be weird. Could you imagine that?! Me holding Stephen and him being horrified but unable to move. "I thought we were gonna watch donkeys fucking." Damnit! I forgot I told AK 47 that I would show her that mini documentary about men and teenage boys having sex with donkey's.  You might be asking yourself why the fuck are you watching grown ass men fuck donkeys. Well my friend, one of my boys Zach Marble introduced me to Vice and all of its sweet debauchery!

  So before I post it, the mini documentary is about prepubescent boys and grown ass men in rural Columbia that fuck donkeys.  Don't ask why they are fucking donkeys! It's the same reason why teenage boys were/are fucking cows! At any rate the reasoning behind donkey fucking is that it is believed to give the boys ample practice before they get married to a woman.  Since the country is over 95% Catholic, you can guess why boys are fucking donkeys. Here is the clip from vice tv.

http://www.vbs.tv/watch/the-vice-guide-to-sex--3/asses-of-the-caribbean--3
  After the doc was over I asked AK 47 would you rather your boyfriend cheat on you with a woman or have sex with a donkey? Yeah, I know it was an absolutely ridiculous question, but let's add this.  Your boyfriend/significant other was going away for a couple of years ie..the military. Would you rather him fuck a woman or a donkey? Also bare in mind your bf/significant other may develope feelings for the woman and leave you entirely.  However you chose to answer the question you will be judged....negatively!LOL!

The Case Of the Infamous N!gger: Part 2

  If I were to ask my grandfather when or if it is ever appropriate to use the word nigger or it's derivatives he would look at me in the face and slap me with all of the wrath of a former slave. Not simply former slaves from Africa and its diaspora, but the first slaves ever...women. My grandfather always tells me this story of the Watts riots. 

  One afternoon in 1965 he was on his porch holding my mom who was not a year old yet.  The National Guard rolled through the hood. One of the Guards said to my grandfather "Nigger get back in your house!"  My grandfather responded with "this is my house!" The guard then responded "get back in the house Nigger or I will blow you away."  My grandfather obviously not concerned with his or my mother's safety stood his ground.  The guy cocked his weapon and my grandmother screamed and begged him back into the house.  That's what the word Nigger means to him.

  When my father was a kid he saw police officers beat the shit outta a man while all the black people watched helplessly.  As my dad walked closer to get a better look the officer yelled to my father, "One more step and I'll blow your head off little nigger!"  Safe to say my dad didn't walk another step.  These are the stories from our parents and grandparents generation. A generation that is still alive and living with the horrors of being subhuman. We often fight over generational issues and the issue with black Americans is the use of the word nigger or its derivatives. Yet, if it causes so much anguish to our parents why do we continue to use the word?

Feeling Concert Vol.4 MGMT LIVE IN SEOUL

For TICKETS in English...

For my people in Korea...MGMT will be here April 1st... the day before my birthday!

Catching a taxi in Seoul

  A year ago in Itaewon, I couldn't get a taxi to take me anywhere.  I had to walk half way to hongdae (where I lived at the time) to get a taxi. I would like to think it was by coincidence that I couldn't get a taxi on that particular night but it has happened numerous time. And every time outta frustration I vow to blow this bitch up! Then I regain my sensibility. I realized long ago that cab drivers in Seoul have a passenger hierarchy.  Korean, people will more than likely be able to flag a taxi. Although sometimes Koreans have a difficult time getting a taxi at night in certain areas.

  Let us not delve into the hierarchy of who gets a taxi based on ethnicity.  As a black American man, I based my life in Korea around the time of day and who I'm with when trying to flag a cab.  I've noticed that women are more likely to be picked up by a taxi. Still ethnicity plays a huge part. For example, I've tried to get a taxi with a Korean woman before and the taxi cab driver sees me with her and looks at her with total disgust.  With a black woman from any part of the African Diaspora, they look frightened to see the both of us. But with a white woman I've found it to be the easiest way to catch a cab.  For example:

  My good friend Pinnacle the Hustler, invited me to a radio show he was doing in Seoul. On our way to the studio my sister and his girlfriend Dolce , decided that she should try to get a taxi after four vacant taxis passed us by.  Dolce got a taxi rather quickly but later on that night a white chick from the studio got a taxi with us in .06 seconds.  Black Americans in general have an unspoken language that I just can't explain. Actually POC (People of Color) in the U.S. share this unspoken language.

  When the white woman was with us we all slowly backed away without words and we immediately knew that if we were gonna get outta Gangnam anytime soon...she was our ticket.  And without fail a taxi stopped for her. What was strange was the way in which we ambushed the guys car.  Darkness was upon him and he looked mad confused when 3 black people bomb rushed his car. Can you imagine seeing two black dudes running at your car at night wearing nothing but black and a down ass chick draped in the same colors?! If I was in America I would shit but I'm in Korea...it's safe.

  .

Can a man say "He's a handsome dude?"

  The other night while in Zen Bar, I had a conversation about the differences between the sexes with the homies Kristen and CJ (the woman not CJ the guy).  You might be saying to yourself, "why the hell are you guys having conversations? Shouldn't you guys be partying?" Well, we had been there long enough to hear Empire State of Mind at least five times. At this point it had become only fitting to have a conversation about the debauchery going on around us.  We seemingly were the only people in the bar who were not drunk.  If we were researchers they, the drunkards, were the wild animals oblivious to us watching them have sex...so to speak.
  Speaking of sex, not the act of but what defines us biologically, Kristen made a great observation. Men, in general are more likely to describe a person of the same sex by using material assets as opposed to their female counterparts(I used "their" as if I am not a man..kinda weird). Women in general will describe a person of the same sex by using physical attributes. I'm not sure but I'm almost positive that both sexes use personality traits to describe the same sex.
  Throughout our night/morning of decadence Kristen made a key observation after one of our friends was hit on by a gay guy.  Why don't men take it as a compliment when a guy of the same sex hits on us?  I remember a gay guy hitting on me in a bar.  I mean this guy and I talked the night away. I mean we talked about sports, ethnicity, more sports, American foreign policy and again more sports. All the shit guys talk about. So at the end of the night he grabs my thigh and whispers in my ear, rather seductively, I love black guys.  I was shocked and I could also see that dude was serious...So I did what Kevin Spacey did in the movie American Beauty and simply responded, "I'm sorry but I think your mistaken, I'm not gay." Then he proceeded to give me the "fuck you bitch" facial expression (How do women deal with this). After all those drink he bought me I totally was like yeah I'm not gay.
  I never want to ever kiss a man on the lips unless he is my blood relative but then again I never want to kiss anybody on the lips unless she is of the opposite sex and unrelated.  I wonder though why did I responded in this fashion rather than beat the fuck outta him. I learned a few things that night. Stereotypes are often wrong (unless we're talking about black people and menthal cigarettes).  Gay guys love "guy" shit too! Wait that sounds weird plus I shouldn't have used the exclamation mark. Gay guys are interested in the same topics as straight guys.  And that I had become perfectly secure with my own sexuality. Still how many guys would have beat the fuck outta that guy?

The Case of the Infamous N!gger Part 1

 When I was in college I wrote a review about the book entitled Nigger by Randall Kennedy. My English advisor Dr. Urwiller was a white dude from a farm in Nebraska and the look on his face when he saw my title was priceless. Probably similar to yours when you saw the title to this blog. Unintentionally, I had made it impossible for him to say my title aloud. Or around other black people.  Underneath my facsade I wanted to say "Urwiller, you ma nigga, I ain't trippin." 
I have always held mixed feelings about the word. In fact I have never been called a nigger by a white person until I came to Korea. In fact,when I was a child, I assumed the word was in everyone's vocabulary. It was as simple as saying "my, man". To me the word was an after thought until...my parents told me the history of the word.
  But the incredible thing about the N-Word was that other people of color are also using the word.  When I was young I didn't really like none black people using the word. Especially white people.  As I got older I understood that the plight of other People of Color (POC) is similar to mine. They too were forced to live in a world that won't allow them to fully assimilate (and allow us to keep our native cultures as well). If only we could have been white like the Polish, Irish and Italians.  Once when I was in Seoul I used to see a young lady from Iran (but has been living in the west since age 7). She quoted Dave Chappelle saying "you might have to fight a nigga a two." I was a little taken aback. I mean obviously the racial slur for Arabs is "sand nigger"  but it felt a little weird. She could sense my uneasiness and said "my people are treated like niggers" or "dune coons" (the later sounds ridiculously funny when vocalized). What was she actually saying? I knew what she was saying but I still felt a twinged in my soul when she uttered the word.
  My current girlfriend is Jewish. In the summer time she looks Italian or Puerto Rican and in the winter she looks Russian.  She is a Jew through and through. Somehow I expect her to use the word but she hasn't except in the occasional rap song. I'm Kidding! The reason I've come to expect it is because people who have endured under such hostile environments have earned the right to use nigga. Or have they?

Jeong 정!

GOTCHA

  The other day I got hit by a car. It wasn't a full on collision but more like a Hybrid SUV backing up and grazing my elbow. This accident came moments after AK 47 and I were talking about how much we enjoy being in Korea. Then without fail something happened to make me question my love affair with South Korea. It is as if Korea wants you to fall in love with it by enticing you with its charm before punching you in the eye and yelling "GOT YOU BITCH!!!!!"

  The better part of me wanted to slam my 16 dollar bucket of ice cream in his face but AK 47 warned me not to waste the ice cream. For the sake of indulgence, let's say I did bash his face with the ice cream would it have been fair? I mean he did almost run me over with his SUV Hybrid car thingy.

  There are a few reason why I didn't fuck him up. Reason one being I don't wanna be deported. Reason two being I don't want to be brutally beaten by some random Korean pedestrian who decided to jump into our fight. The first reason is the least of my worries and garners no validity. The possibilities of deportation is a real threat but unless you have meaningful ties in the country you can always come back..hehehe.
  I've been in Korea for a while and have seen massive brawls between foreigners and Koreans. The fight usually starts off with one opposing force versus the other...you know...a one on one fight.  And then whether the Korean dude is winning the fight or not his fellow countrymen enter into the fray.  I should remind you that the Korean guy that jumped into the fight doesn't know the guy he is helping. I've noticed that random Korean men don't jump into a fight as enthusiastically when the altercation is between Koreans.

    Staying in the vein of reasons, I understand the reason for such fervent behavior. It's a little term called 정 Jeong. The term is hard to explain but the way that I've come to understand the word is through my unspoken communication with Black Americans. Albeit some Black Americans are unable to speak this language but most are. Yet, if you watch even the most educated black person or if you are fortunate enough to develop a lasting bond with said black person then their culture will peek through. No one can explain it but it just is.  It exist between black people partly because of our shared history and our unique experiences as people of color.

Group think - not always good

  So looking through he guise of being a black American I understand Jeong. I understand Korea's ancestors being occupied by the Mongols, Chinese, Japanese and most recently the  Americans. When one is occupied and atrocities are committed against the oppressed the need to band together is necessary. But when does that bond become willfully ignorant? Back in 2006,Shin Mun Seon, a Korean commentator, was called a traitor for simplifying stating that the call the referee made was correct. This type of group think from oppressed people both black and Korean can prove detrimental to both groups respectively. Group think from any group causes stagnation and can possibly ostracize individuals who dare to question the cultural paradigm.