You're forgiven. Now dance!

What if The Council were to go out pissing on my neighbors gnomes as some type of fetish. You would deem me as a peculiar human being but would probably overlook it. Unless, of course, it was your gnome that I pissed on. Ok, What if I, The Council, were to piss or harm another human being without consent. I would be a social pariah and there would be almost nothing I could do to redeem myself. The phoenix won't be able to rise from this.

  Though The Council perceives himself to be a demigod of sorts, I am not a celebrity. Had I done any of those things above while possessing the power to make you shake your ass, then I might be forgiven. Take for example, Mr. 12 play himself, R. Kelly. The man literally pissed on an underage girl complete with statutory rape. Plenty of consenting adults would be grateful to have R. Kelly piss on them. Hell, I might let R. Kelly piss on me too for a life time supply of world peace. But all is forgiven because that mother fucker can sing his ass off! He had us all stepping in the name of love.

  

  Mr. Kelly was acquitted of the charges. Actually, every time I hear the songs World's Greatest and I Believe I Can Fly, sung by my elementary students, I cringe. What about a gentleman like Chris Brown? The guy beat the shit outta Rihanna! Still he makes choruses like, Look At Me Now, for those of us who were down and out and have come up in the world. Still he beat a bitch the fuck up! I would imagine that I look a bit suspect dancing to a dude that lost it on his girlfriend. But fuck, she loves/loved (you never know with those two) him so, hey, what do I know?

  Let's take a look at one of the most iconic figures in world history, Dr. Martin Luther the king! Yes! The King! The man who is undoubtedly the face of the civil rights era. Martin Luther the king was seen as a terrorist during his life. Given the racially and politically charged atmosphere of the time, one could see why mainstream society had labeled him as such. Looking back, the label wasn't nearly accurate. Today we see him,  and rightfully so, as a beacon of hope against the injustices around the world. 

  According to Michael Eric Dyson's book I May Not Get There With You and the FBI (thanks to wiretapping) we know more about Dr. Kings private life. We know that he is definitely a cheater. Had social media existed during that era, Dr. King might have been dismissed as an immoral bastard. And the legacy that lives today could have been a different story.

  Who gets a pass and who doesn't? Some would say that no sin is greater than the other. Clearly some "sins" are greater than the others. While each of these three men violated a social contract, there is definite hierarchy of sin. Pissing on underage girls also known as statutory rape and beating someone up are definitely far worse than cheating on your wife. I can forgive someone for cheating on me but rape and abuse are very hard to forgive. Not a fuck is given about what classic movies you've made or if you're the King of Rock (here's looking at you Woody Allen and or Elvis)! 

  

Common Fucking Decency

 By the time I started watching porn on the low women were beginning to shave their pubic hair into a landing strip. Still, there was always an occasional strangler that came complete with a party under her navel. It didn't gross me out, I just found it peculiar. By the time I became mature enough to masturbate (I assure you this blog isn't about masturbation) women were scorching the earth. There was nothing left! NOTHING!
  So then the guys of porn started to scorch their shit too! Everybody in porn was bald and moisturize.  I fell in love with the outer labia with all its meaty goodness. And suddenly the clitorus was no myth but a tangible biological entity that proved to be magically. Scorching the earth and HD porn gave rise to muscular veiny cocks. A cock makes it kinda weird when watching porn but it's a means to an end. The end being the all encompassing vagina. See, what I did there? NO? I don't wanna explain it, makes me sound like a perv.
  If you're like me you prefer amateur porn. All of the fuck faces you see are real and virtually no one is looking into the camera. Once I saw a kicking a dope ass rap while he was having sex. I thought it rather odd but everyone is entitled to their own fetish. I've come to like the poor lighting and dirty homes. What has trickled down from porn is that real women are shaving their pubic hair. I'm not insinuating that porn actors are not real but they are definitely acting. What has not trickled down to the sexually deviant or those brave enough to put out their sexual encounters are shaved man parts.
  Of course I'm noting watching porn to see if guys are shaving their junks. It is the least of my worries. But it does speak to the micro level of gender roles. During guys only meetings, which are always impromptu, men complain about women who don't shave. Yet, they don't shave themselves. Granted, hair in your eyes or hair in your throat can put a damper on oral pleasure. Such can be said about men and hairy ass nuts. HAHAHAHA! Hairy ass nuts in text looks hilarious.
  Outside of aesthetic measures, the real reason for shaving your shit is because it's common fucking courtesy. Oh, and it makes your penis look bigger. On a more serious note, you can't feel some type of way about unshaved women when you're unwilling to shave. The days of rigid gender roles are over. So get with it and shave your shit! Or at the very least trim it.

Takashi Murakami Superflat Art exhibit in Seoul

  Takashi Murakami is an contemporary artist that specializes in a style he coined superflat. Somehow, I envisioned women with nassatall (no ass at all). Superflat emcompasses high and low art, postwar Japanese culture and colors. Lot and lots of colors! Murakami designed the cover art for Kanye's graduation album. As the late great Seinfield would say, "What's the deal with rappers and Japanese artist." I suppose the same reason that designers Marc Jacobs and Louis Vuitton have acquired his distinct superflat style.  

  You can check out the exhibit Takashi in Superflat Wonderland until December 8, 2013 at the Plateau Museum of Art. The price is 5 bucks for adults and 4 for the chikadees. Although, you may not want them to see an exposed vagina being that autobot pussy (if you go you'll get the reference) is eye level with an eight year old kid.  I saw a few mothers putting the blinders over their children's eyes. To get there (the museum, not the vagina) take City Hall exit 8 and walk straight until you see the picture below.

  

Here are a few of his works.

And the visuals for Kanye's Good Morning video by Takashi Murakami.

  

Busan Immigration Office: picture by picture directions

   If you're like me, sometimes words are not good enough when taking direction. If you need to go to the Busan Immigration office here are pictures to help you find the way.  Remember walk out of exit 14 and keeping going straight. There will be no need to cross the main street which is to your left. The Immigration Office is in the same building as Korean Air. Hope this helps!

    If you see the above building across from you, you're going the correct way.

 

Questions on Beards

  While living in Korea I have been told by Korean nationals that I resemble any number of famous black men. Mostly people say that I look like Jay-Z. Since I am a Jay-Z dick rider, I don't find it too offensive. Ever so often I may get Magic Johnson, R. Kelly or Eddie Murphy. I wonder if they know that R. Kelly likes to piss on minors and Eddie Murphy is an undercover tranny lover. I would rather be caught with a transexual than have documented footage of me pissing on the underaged. If you say otherwise you sir...are a pedophile. And no there will be no "no homo" phrase for the aforementioned sentence.
  When I grow a full beard, Korean nationals and Westerns comment on my resemblance to the rapper Common. Although once a drunk British dude jubilantly shouted "ISAAC HAYES! IT'S FUCKING ISAAC HAYES!" On most Saturday nights in Busan the sober and the drunken (mostly drunken) hardly greet me with the socially acceptable, "Hello I'm_________." Instead the topic starter goes "I don't know if anyone has told you this buuuuuuuuuuut you look like Common." Proper greetings are always cool after which you can immediately follow it with a doppelgänger  reference.
  Bearded Reggie and Beardless Reggie gets various reactions. Westerners who have known me with and without a beard are indifferent. Or they are jealous because I've been able to go a beard since the 8th grade!!! Which isn't very beneficial if one is trying to ride public transportation. Imagine the transit cops going "Come on sir. You're not 14." People who have only known Bearded Reggie look at me with confusion when I show up as Beardless Reggie. As if I look vastly different. They always let out a slow laborious REEEGGGGIIEEEE.
  In Korea I've come to understand beards come with different perceptions than they do in Western culture. In Western culture a beard can signify wisdom, regality and strength. If we look at Hollywood movies a beard is sometimes worn by a villainous  mutha fucka. Unless you're the sexist grandpa alive, Sean Connery. I always feel compelled to ask a bearded man for advice when I make life decisions because he looks like a dude that knows shit. Even if it is wholly untrue, beards garner different perceptions. Unlike Korea, where I'm not sure what the perception is.
  My girlfriend is definitely not fucking with my beard. Like most Korean women I've dated, worked with or befriended, they all have urged me to shave the damn thing. They may be unaware that the source of my power comes from my beard. At least I tell myself that from a psychological standpoint. Still, Korean women don't really like beards. Case in point: I have been on the subway or the bus and I can hear a Korean man say in Korean "his beard looks cool". Then his significant other will say no it looks ugly. Whether through admiration or discrimination as it relates to my beard, I enjoy the fact that the couple decided against using their inside voice. Instead they opted for "fuck it, he probably can't speak Korean anyway."
  Their usage of an inside voice is not the point. The point is in the questions: Are beards a matter of personal preference or a cultural norm? Did the young lady say that to prove her love and devotion to her man? Is it the equivalent of one's significant other saying. "she's so pretty!" And you reply, "she's ok" to show your lover that you can't be a swayed by another person's beauty, who may or may not be hotter than your significant other? Does she prefer clean shaven men? And if so, is it due to men having to shave because of an overtly militarily run society?

Free throws and chicken

  The most awesome thing about living in Korea is that I can unabashedly enjoy chicken and watermelon in public
without the fear of being stereotyped. There is literally a chicken spot on every corner. It is in effect, a black man's heaven. Please don't get me started on Korea's love for watermelon either. Because it rivals the black man's love. It's not because I'm genetically pre determined to love chicken but because I genuinely love a fried flightless bird. Besides, who the fucked decided to pin a food that humanity largely consumes on Black Americans. It would be both pathetic and awesome if food producers breed chicken for the sole purpose of black consumption.
  But you can't elude racial stereotypes all the time. Back in April I was in Seoul looking for a Brooklyn Nets hat. Not because Brooklyn is my favorite team but because I'm a Jay-Z dick rider. Honestly, if Jay made a vile of diamond encrusted baby piss fashionable, I can't say that I wouldn't consider doing it as well. So as I'm walking to the NBA store there is a crowd of people outside shooting free throws for NBA merchandise. My girlfriend, MK Ultra, turns to me and asked if I wanted to shoot.
  There was a part of me that really wanted to shoot the damn free throws. An overwhelming part of me didn't want to shoot because I'm a poor free throw shooter. Internally, I had likened it to eating chicken publicly. Had I been in America, I would have shot the ball without any preconceived ideas about my ethnicity and basketball. Let's venture for a moment into the outcome of both making or missing the free throws that will somehow judge the worth of an entire race.
  Had I made the free throw, then it will have been expected. "Oh, he's black he should have made it. Black people are good at basketball." It would have been dismissed as a normality without taking into account that I'm a poor free throw shooter. If I had missed the free throw then it would have been a shock. Missing the free throw would have been seen as an anomaly. You may be surprised but when I tell Koreans that I can't dunk or dance they look at me with disbelief followed by the phrase "try it".

  So, I didn't shoot the fucking free throws. My decision not to may have something to do with being Black American. To be more specific it may have everything to do with being an ethnic minority in America. In the U.S. I took care on how I was/am racially perceived. And in Korea, I'm still a minority. I have to be aware of how my actions are perceived as a U.S. national as well as a black person. When you are a minority, sometimes something as trivial as shooting free throws can be unnerving.
  Minorities in the U.S. charge the white majority with not being able to fully understand some of the hardships or insensitivity they face. Until one has become the minority can one begin to understand (i.e. religious affiliation, sexual preference and living abroad). While living abroad, I have heard white Americans say aloud "damn, now they are going to think we're all like that" or "I hate when white people do stupid shit in Korea." As a minority living in both America and Korea, I understand their frustration.  I would hope that white americans would take this experience back to the West.
  But there is still another avenue yet to be explored. Perhaps, if I had shot the fucking free throws and missed (as I probably would have) not a single fuck would have been given. Perhaps, nothing would have been concluded about me regarding my ethnicity. Perhaps, I would have been that dude that shot and missed so badly that the ball hit a lady in the eye. Perhaps...

Obama Teacher

In 2008 and 2012, the United States elected then reelected it’s first Black American president. Having lived in Korea before President Obama’s global prominence, black people were ethnically identified by Koreans without regards to the complexity of the African Diaspora, as simply African. After the election, black men were simply, Obama. Hell, even my Mexican American homie has been called Obama on the regular. He definitely doesn’t resemble President Obama.
The problem many westerners have in Korea is not being able to tell the difference between ignorance and outright racism. To be honest the line can be moved, blurred or nonexistent. Being called the most famous black man in the world or being called Flava Flav is a no brainer as to which to take offense to. Brad Pitt or Robert Downey Jr? Well, I guess Robert DowneyJr., isn’t such a fuck up anymore. Pointing at a Korean man and calling him Kim Jung IL is indeed racist. Even if he does look like Mr. Kim, it is an unsavory observation.
I contend that Korea has some serious racial undertones but not on the scale of apartheid South Africa or the U.S. during the Civil Rights era. There are unmistakeable instances of “live and direct” racism. While some may point out that Korea is just highly Xenophobic, this brand of Xenophobia errors on the side of racism. Take for example, what I affectionately call the racial totem pole for foreigners. Foreigners all experience overt or covert forms of racism. In Korea, no one is excluded. The racial hierarchy in Korea has white people first, then all other westerners and rich nations, then at the bottom are people from poor asian countries and poor african countries. Even within the totem pole there is a totem pole.
It is way too easy to have a “damn, that was racist” moment in Korea or anywhere in the world for that matter. Back in 2009 an Indian man, Bonojit Hussain, was verbally assaulted by a Korean bus driver. The driver went on to ask Hussain’s Korean female acquaintance “how does if feel to date a black bastard?” When they decided that they had had enough of his vitriol language they stopped the bus to report him to the authorities. Upon filing the complaint the police told him there is no racial discrimination in Korea. 
Korea isn’t exactly going to the Hang River for a “picnic” and ending the evening with hanging a foreigner from the light post either. I’d liken Koreans to that of any indigenous people that saw white people for the first time. I can imagine that some people probably worshipped them, some were frightened and some just wanted to know  what the fuck are they? On some accounts, the racism in Korea is comical. When I’m greeted with a mechanical “yo, wassup man”, Koreans look as if their brain is malfunctioning when I simply reply, “hello, how are you?” I suppose by me being black American I should indulge them with a caricature of blackness.  
On the basketball courts throughout Samsung country, Korean men innocently make the statement that black men are naturally great players. They have not been exposed to the reality. Black men that are great at any sport are great because they practice every single day. For some it is a way to escape economic hardship. I assure you there is no “basketball gene” that allows black men to leap out of the gym in a single bound. Hell if they are misguided about genetics and physical ability I’d be frightened about their thoughts on genetics and intellects. But my all time favorite is when someone replies, “you’re nothing like what I see on T.V.” Need I say more? Instead of getting angry and bashing old men with one’s rocks, foreigners should take the time to educate by an explanation or through actions when possible.
While adults are usually better equipped to handle the harshness of racism, biracial children are not. Children of biracial families have a difficult time dealing with a hostile environment. In May, a teen who had a Korean father and Russian mother was indicted on 11 counts of arson. The boy’s father was killed in a car accident in Moscow and was abandoned by his mother. The boys paternal grandparents brought he and his brother to Korea. According to the 17 year old, in the eyes of Korean students he was neither Russian nor Korean and was bullied with physical or verbal. The teen stated “when I look at the fires I feel good and my anger goes away.” Sure arson shouldn’t be condoned but couple his daily dose of racism with the recent death of his grandmother, one can see why the teen is retaliating.
The question isn’t whether of not Korea is racist because of it’s perceived ethnic homogeneity. The more accurate question is how will Korea combat racism as it continues to develop socially. In the west overt racism is taken so seriously that anyone accused of racism can lead to a loss of business, the lost of a job and being socially ostracized. Today multi ethnic children are not considered Korean by society. Even though they culturally identify as Korean. Korea must learn from the bloody civil rights era in the U.S. and take the painful necessary steps to incorporate multi ethnic people into society. If not, the social climate will be a fiery one in the coming decades.

 

Shitty kids in context.

 

  A few weeks ago, a student asked me a simple question about my anatomy? "Teacher, you are a man, yes?" When a student has to seek confirmation of my sex, the likelihood of it being a positive interaction isn't promising. So, I reluctantly answered yes. You know, in a way that says: I have no clue to where this conversation might travel. And you are fucking scaring me. With the confidence of a man who had recently had sex and the syntax of the all wise Yoda, he looked at me with a smile and said, "So, dick you have?"

"Do I have a dick?"

"Yes, teacher. Man you are and dick you have?"

    The entire time he had a stupid ass grin on his face. The grin let me know that he had learned it and knew exactly what it meant. On a scale of worse things a student can say/do it ranks pretty high. It wasn't like the empty fuck you's that Korean kids learn from watching Hollywood movies. Those curse words are essentially directed at no on in particular. They come out of their mouths and disappear like a vapor into the noise of the living. I politely asked him to never say that word again in my classroom and he never did. Later he will find ways to use the word dick but I am not going to be an enabler.

    But I have to admit. I let a curse word slide once. Well, in a way I did. One shitty ass student was teasing another student about his sister. The shitty kid is a little bigger than the kid being teased. The teased kid is the kind a student any teacher would love to have. The shitty kid is pretty cool too. He is just, well...shitty for insulting a man's sister. Finally, amongst other things that sounded more weird than insulting, the bully said, I'm gonna eat out your sister. The kid turned around, looked him in his eyed let out slow meaningful "Fuck...you."
  Of course I had reprimand them both but damn, that's awesome context.