The Council showers with dudes....

  I am not homophobic. I am not homophobic. I am not homophobic. I repeat...I am not homophobic. Over the last couple of weeks I have showered with men. Multiple men to be exact. This may come off as the introduction of an erotic novel in which I explain why I'm not gay but then I proceed to tell the tale of how I became involved with men. I assure you I absolutely love vagina AND this is not an erotic novel. It is a blog about my uneasiness about being naked around other men with the exception being the doctor, dad or death. That last sentence had a twinge of incest.
  When I first came to The Land of the Morning Calm (Korea), I thought for sure everyone man under the age of 25 was gay. Yes, I am aware that it's a shitty conclusion to come to and no I'm not apologizing for it. In the subway and prancing down every street was a man and his man bag. Hell for a brief moment I had a man bag until somebody gave me shit for it and nick named me RJ Murse(man bag/purse). In which case I quickly sold it to a metrosexual for free.  Can you imagine a generation of twenty something year old men dressed like Ellen Degeneres complete with a murse? Fast forward almost five years later and I realized that Korean men have only one thing in mind. That thing is the common denomiator for all men the world over. It's the reason why we put on clothes and refrain from holding our balls in public. It's the power of the p-u-s-s-y.
 
In Korea men have no problem telling another man he is handsome. Western men won't normally comment on another man's physical appearance. We may take the approach of complimenting his attire but thats where it begins and ends. I am a whole lot weirded out when a man I have never met in my life tells me how handsome I am while I'm pissing. I don't know but I don't think that is the proper time to compliment me about anything whatsoever. Think of the scenario if a dude took offense to that.
a. he turns away and ignores you
b. he pisses on you
c. he comes at you with some kind of rage with his dick wagging (I just cringed)
  At my current apartment I share a restroom with college students and everyday they look at me as if to say "why the fuck are you here?" And this is after they've seen me for the millionth time. Everyday I shower they look at me and are probably wondering about my third leg. It always reminds me of the gym I used to frequent called BBC. If you are a porn enthusiast you know the acronym stands for BIG BLACK COCK. I have the strangest feeling that somehow I was the unofficial mascot of the gym. And without fail, whether I'm showering with college students or with middle age men at gym BBC somebody has to strike up a fucking conversation.
  Why is it acceptable to talk to another men while your piece is dangling around freely? It's not really cool that I have to shower with you at my most vulnerable time. Besides my dick is not at it's best when all the hot water is gone. It kinda goes into hiding.  At any rate my Korean brothers, I know you're not gay but you can't go around talking to people while the tally knackle isn't secure. Unless of course you are gay and you're almost sure the person you're talking to is. But even then I'm sure he just wants to shower.