Viva La Hova Mixtape

If you guys like mash ups, Mike Boogie and Terry Urban created a little diddy for you. The Viva La Hova mixtape came out two years ago but as of September 2010 the Remastered version has hit the net. Leave it to me to be late in getting it to you. Enjoy! Viva La Hova-The Mixtape. PEACE

The NBA. Where no homo happens!

Where bringing the D happens

  The other day I was playing NBA 2K11 and the color commentator said and I quote, "Jordan put the D in his face!"  I didn't notice the double entendre at all. The very next play I screamed to my Advance Intelligence basketball player,"watch out for the backdoor pass!" AK 47 was in the room (only because it's a one bedroom apartment) and was appalled by the sexual undertones that went unnoticed by me.
  Then I begin to think about the NBA and how overtly sexual it is. For one every time a player makes a good play another guy slaps him on the ass. This guys shower together so they always see each others junk. I don't know about you but I don't want to talk to a guy when my junk is out and he is in the same room with me without a barrier/divider between us. Not to mention that they kiss each other after winning an NBA championship.
  I, for one, think that NBA players should indeed say no homo before and after every game/practice. During the playoffs and the NBA Finals if they are so lucky to win, they should say no homo during the entire game. During the playoffs if you haven't noticed, is when players become mad homo because the stakes are higher if a team loses. Now that I've thought about it, all sports players should probably say no homo. Why is that?

I'm a man! Argh!

  Let's look at the phrase no homo. The phrase was obviously coined by a homophobic man of faith. Homo phobics and religious have always been synonymous. Why must men who are obviously not gay repeat the phrase during an entire conversation with friends? Maybe the answer lies within Western culture where the images of men are ultra masculine, gat packing, douche bags that all the ladies love. It's the same culture that won't allow men to be sensitive save for a catostrophic event.
  There is something really hurtful that must be addressed in the phrase no homo. When one says the phrase it is as if something is wrong both implicitly and explicitly, with being homosexual. Once during a casual conversation a guy said that another guy was acting like a white nigger. Obviously I took offense to it because the history of the word in America has always carried a negative connotation when used by white americans (and some black americans but that is another blog). The same can be said about no homo.

Leviticus 18:22 - "Do not lie with a man as one lies with a woman; that is detestable." (NIV)

   Faith is the single opposing force against homosexuality.  According to the bible, God speaks specifically about homosexuality, deeming it detestable. He also establishes the union of marriage as being between a man and woman. If an individual uses a holy book as a moral compass then the above statements are believed as the infallible word of the Almighty. But what if you don't? Indeed it is a moral issue but is it the single most important issue that faces our country/world? I'm sure God doesn't want people to starve, be without shelter and proper clothing either. Yet somehow those issues have become the norm.  Besides if one believes as God does let Him judge, it's his world, right?

   If the U.S. allowed homosexuals to marry what would be the worst thing that could happen. A better question is, what would happen if the government decided not to offer universal health care ie the right for another human being to live? Oh wait I know...nothing. Enjoy the video.

  

The Council hates.....entry 1

Dear Minions,

Thou Shall Not See The Council's Face and live

I have become aware of my alter ego Reginald Robinson's recent post's. Well...I'm BACK! The Council will not be lenient with what he was to say. The Council would like to recognize a few Minions, Jesus Jones for his comment on his father's penis. Sha for allowing Reggie to show her his penis when needed and AK 47 for going on a Cosby show marathon and eating hoagies. She also gained 20 pounds in two days after reading the Cliff Huxtable blog.
  Enough of this praising of mere Minions. I have not come here to massage egos. I've (after all the blog does entitle my name) come to wreak havoc on those who ask questions about you even though you are in their mist. Is it not enough for one to simply ask you those questions. If we speak the same language don't you dare use a third party to communicate!  For example on XBOX Live, members like to ask The Council's brother if I am his real brother or what's my name. First of all, none of us are real friends so why the hell must you know my name! A gamer tag/handle/user name is sufficient.
  It is not cool to talk about people, especially when they are in the room:
  So is he/she good in bed?

The Elderly can get it too

  If you don't have enough tact to wait until they are gone or in another room then your significant other should take it upon themselves to slap their friend in the mouth.  Not the eye or the nose because those body parts didn't commit the offense. The elderly can also receive a slap in the mouth. I also recommend a punch to the brain.  Be careful to reserve judgement in case the person in question garners a positive response. There is no need if he/she is in fact good in bed. In which case you may proceed to answer the question.
   THE COUNCIL HAS SPOKEN!

Cliff Huxtable



Is this the stfu face or can J-E-LL-O get you high?

   The longer I teach in Korea the more I feel like I'm turning into Bill Cosby's character Cliff Huxtable. Hell, I've got the sweaters to match or will have them soon. Cliff Huxtable as a dad is cool but Cliff Huxtable as a teaching style makes me feel like that dancing frog on the WB.

   If you are teaching students under the age of 6, a Cliff Huxtable approach is best. This style of teaching, once summoned, is hard to shake. If you so happen to go there, be warned you will be forever stranded in bizarro world. The style doesn't crossover into the realm of elementary education let alone the world of normal functioning adults. Imagine the laughter ensued by 4 year old students after you've made the "jello pudding pop" face to explain the words awesome and great. The non verbal language is also teaching them how to effectively ignore that guy who just won't shut the fuck up!

   Using the Huxtable teaching style to teach ESL students can be fun initially. Crossing your eyes and tucking your lips while your students practice counting to a mere three is simply hysterical in the mind of a 5 year old. Until they begin to recognize your role as the school's jester. Imposing your will from the onset is impossible because you're a foreigner and English should be "exciting!"


Colonization goes by globalization in some cases.



   I'm sorry but there was a reason Cliff Huxtable was on t.v. He was a blend of all things good with dads. Still that dad could not exist in a world where analogies don't sufficed for children as young as Rudy, circa 1980. If parents of ESL students wonder why their sons and daughters don't speak English very well, you should blame it on not being openly colonized. By the Americans of course! Instead you should realize we are forced to be Cliff Huxtables rather than actual teachers.

 

I have a strange theory on why we must summon our inner Huxtables. Like to hear it here it go! The reason may sound more like a conspiracy but the reason is simply to spread globalization as thoroughly as possible. The best way to spread it is through language and/or images. What better image than a Cliff Huxtable like figure? The perfect time to integrate a new system of control if you will, is during our current recession. Fresh graduates are unknowingly the perfect agent to spread American ideals because they are filled with optimism. WTF anyway enough of my theory enjoy your hoagie and start at 2:24 or watch the entire clip.

Regular, Supersized or hold up!

There is a song by Pinnacle and the Antidote claiming "she wants tha D.I." But how does she want it? I mean should it be regular, super sized or "so where you gonna put that?" Men over the ages (ages being 10 years ago when I started to have sex) have wanted to know the answer to this question. The better question would be what's the state of our fragile egos once the knowledge has been revealed to us?
  I never ask a woman if I have a big penis because as far as I'm concerned I would rather know other things. For example, a how do you like it question is always appropriate. If you've got the goods she will simply let you know about it either by being frank or continuing to have sex with you. That way it relieves you of living up to porn standards (we shall delve into pornography later).

 Years ago I made the mistake of probing. The conversation kinda went like this:
HER (obviously): I really like the size of your dick. It's pretty big.
ME: (fuck you mean pretty): What do you mean by that?
Her: It's nice and thick...
ME: Oh ok. So is it the biggest dick you ever had?

Then I got the answer that I didn't want to hear. I could have just been silent and let her marvel in the glory known as "my penis." Instead I questioned further. A man's ego begins and ends with his cock. It's all he has in this world and it's more important in than his word. Or so I thought.

THE CURSE KNOWN AS PORN
  According to health for men, the average penis size is between 6 and 6.5 inches in length. Given that some men self measured, we can safely assume that the measurements are fabricated. I can hear men now, "fuck science you ain't touching my dick!" For those men that allowed doctors to touch their junk saying the term"no homo" repeatedly, definitely occurred. So if the studies are accurate, give or take an inch, where do our ideas permeate from. I would suggest pornography.

  Unless you have a girlfriend or a casual sexual partner, most guys are in front of their computers wack, wack, wacking away. During our few fleeting moments of ecstasy (and I do mean few) we internalize visual and audible sexual cues. Every guy we see has a humongous cock and the women love it! So we undoubtedly believe that guy to be the norm. But if we would listen to the recipients of cocks we could hear the pain a god penis inflicts. Imagine being that guy who has a difficult time climaxing because he's bringing more pain than pleasure. I may be going out on a limb but few women are in the business of a constant cervix beat down. Except in the case that she does like it or she's a porn star or both.
  Guys just be pleasantly surprised that your girlfriend or sexual partner has made a conscience effort to continue having sex with you. That should be a perfect indication you're doing something right. Oh and ladies continue to avoid the question because contrary to popular belief we have fragile egos.
Oh fuck it, ANSWER THE QUESTION! REGULAR, SUPER SIZED OR "HOLD THE FUCK UP!"
No homo Pinnacle for including your picture in this post.

Novelty: Rockstar or Alien

In the elevator on my way to work I was greeted by a group of 5th grade students on their way to yet another hag won (a school that specializes in a subject..math, English, art). As usual they were all standing with their face on the elevator door. Once the elevator door opens they all kinda fall inside. One girl in particular  looked at me with a stare that I've seen a million times before since I've been in Korea....Rock star or Alien and the phrase:

"WHOOAAAA!"

It doesn't bother me when a kid is amazed or surprised about me being black. Kids around the world respond the same way when they live in a homogeneous environment. I use the term environment here because countries like America and Britain are not homogeneous but do have whole neighborhoods that are involuntarily homogeneous.

When I was four years old our neighbor was a family from South Korea. As a child I classified everyone into one of three ethnicity's, black, Mexican (not Latino) and white. You can guess that our neighbors fell into the Mexican category. While we lived there my best friend was the eldest daughter who was about my age. I was in platonic love with her because she played like a boy and baked excellent mud pies with worms on the side.

As a child in the U.S. I had the luxury of putting people in a category albeit not the proper one. Until the age of 6 I couldn't differentiate one Mexican from the other. That same year I befriended a  Mexican kid who wasn't even Mexican. From then on, people became Latino and all Mexicans didn't look alike. I remembered my father had a very peculiar look on his face when I told him of my discovery. As if he were saying "get your shit together kid".

  South Korean school children don't have that luxury. Either they see black people through the spotted lens of the media or not at all. If the kid is into black culture and its art form then we are akin to rock stars. There is also a more frightening side. The look of horror in there eyes when they can't categorize you. Until you entered their world in passing on an elevator, they were completely and utterly Korean.

  Children are allowed to hold these ideas in their minds because hell, they're children. Adults pose a major dilemma. For one, we live in a heavily globalized world and you should have seen a black person somewhere. Honestly it's not the staring that frustrates me, it's the look of disgust and the thoughts that inevitably come with it. You begin to wonder what atrocities has been attributed to you because of your ethnicity.

  It would be unfair if I failed to mention that these types of attitudes exist within Western societies but one can easily disassociate himself from those types of people. In America one can easily come to understand people as individuals. Yet, in Korea one must deal with the burden of language and its inability to communicate properly the attitudes of an individual. Plus we have to remember that a homogeneous society lacks the proper cultural training needed to embrace multiculturalism. Still I wonder is that a reason for someone to stare at me so long that they crash their bicycle?

The Ideology of taking a nap

 The other day I was out with AK47 and we were having semi philosophical discussion over chicken. Wait, that sentence is a bit akward. We were eating chicken while discussing high brow philosophy. As a side note, if you have never been to this place and you love chicken...yeah I think you get the picture.

 Somewhere between sharing our sexual experiences (with one another and other people) and string theory, we arrived at words of wisdom from our parents.

  The thoughts of Reginald Earl, my dad, went back to a time when he would say wild shit that never made sense until later in life. When I was 13 years old he told me to "keep a helmet on my head." I thought to myself, "hell I don't even like football," I'm a fair weather Cowboys fan at best. Now of course we all know what he meant. When AK 47 shared with me her father's dieing words they were profound.

"When you feel like you are about to fuck up, take a nap."

Nothing can come between me and chicken.Yet this ideology was better than chicken.  If it was possible Chicken and I would be wed in matrimony. Well, kinda, I mean I couldn't just marry ONE chicken because I would have that chicken for dinner. Talk about spousal abuse plus I would totally get away with it. Still my love for chicken can only be broken by a woman or my nicotine addiction.

TAKE A NAP

While digesting the meaning of the words all things became clear. These words of wisdom can be taken literally as in the case of Saturday night and wanting to save your money.

My Brain: I have to save money for college but I wanna party with the Space Boys.

I can see me doing one or two things.  I could crawl into my bed while cozing up to Freakonomics or I would instantly fall to the ground possibly injuring myself but with fatter pockets. Imagine a guy on his way to rob a bank falling asleep at the wheel. Well, ok, don't because that may imply he is on a highway when he decides he's about to fuck up.

  Applying the take a nap ideology to practically every substantial life decision is absolutely perfect. Withouth realizing it, I had applied this ideology countless times. When I was 16 years old I had to decide whether to join all the hopeless black teens in the drug trade.  We were fucking desperate and literally hungry. Everyone I knew sold drugs at one time or another. What was I suppose to do? I wasn't doing crime for the sake of doing crime? So, again I ask you what was I suppose to do?

 Take a nap!

 This was the  most crucial point in my life and had I not taken a nap, you would be possibly counting me among the young black bodies that filled the prison cells or back to whence one came. A simple ideology saved my fucking life!

 "Taking a nap" should be part of humanities psyche because it inches us closer to understanding ourselves and how we relate to one another. Maybe it is part of it but along the way we forgot it. If we could take a nap we could find a better way to tell our significant others that the dress they're wearing makes them look like a stack of tires. Or if our leaders would take a nap, we could possible become more diplomatic and postponed or stop wars all together.