Testicles: I wanna have kids...someday.

Ready for some speed bag action?

   Over the past few years, I've  had a steady dosage of being punched in the nuts. It's a wonder that my testicles are not completely mangled by now. The last time I checked (in the shower this morning) one still  hung lower than the other. In my adolescent years I was convinced that something was wrong with me until the sex ed teacher told us that its normal for one nut to hang a little low.
   I must make a confession. I haven't been very good to my identical twins. They have taken repeated beat downs over the past few years. I say to them, during masturbation (or sex...well not during sex they get kinda neglected except on my birthday) "just one more year and we will stop teaching kindergarten." And every year they stick or hang rather, with me. I don't know why they do BUT maybe it has something to do with them being attached.
   Someday I wanna have children of my own. The key word here is someday. Then I think about my own kids punching me in the nuts on accident or on purpose. The thought of that causes my testicles to shrivel up to the point where it looks like I have a giant clitoris. My students seem to have heat syncing accuracy when it comes to my balls. It is my belief that they take great pleasure in seeing me double over in pain. The pain seems to take over my torso and paralyzes me leaving only my vocal chords yelling incoherent curses upon their parents.
  So today will be the last day that I shall endure my testicles being a speed bag for five year olds training to become the next boxing champion of the world. I haven't been punched today but for old time sake, I will double over pain knowing it will be the last time. Well, until I have my own kids. FUCK!
UPDATE: So I didn't get punched in the nuts but my penis was punched a few times. I hope this doesn't sound perverted.