You wanna hear a joke

  Once when I was 19 years old, my ex girlfriend's friend's boyfriend asked me if I'd like to hear a joke. Sure, I'm always up for a good laugh. Prior to the joke, the "comedian" had been a little apprehensive when speaking to me. His handshakes were neither firm nor crisp. He never looked me in the eye. EVER.  So after a night of drinking (I was drinking illegally) liquid courage was in full force. He and I talked about growing up and realized how much we had in common. He being white and I black, shared a kinship that poor Americans can readily identify with. We were under dogs that America swept under the rug because they didn't want us. There were hugs and laughter erupted uncontrollably and infused the apartment. Then he went on the realization that one's ethnicity shouldn't matter. At the time I agreed with him because ideally (key word being ideally) ethnicity shouldn't matter how you treat a fellow human being. Because to not see my ethnicity you undermine my experience as a person of color. So when he asked me if I wanted to hear a joke naturally I wanted to continue to connect and build camaraderie. I had no idea he would go "there".

"You want to hear a joke?"
"Yeah, what you got for. It better be funny."
"You know what the NAACP stands for?
I drunkenly responded, "The NCAA?"
"The NAACP!"
"Oh yeah, it stands for The National Association for the Advancement of Colored People."
"No it doesn't"
"Wait did I mixed the As up?"
"It stands for the Nigger Association for the Advancement of Crazy Policies."

  My 19 year old self was appalled and immediately withdrew from whatever he had to say. Everything we had built for that short span was vaporized and I'd wish he had continued to be allusive. As a 19 year old kid I was not sure what to even say. I knew it was racist but I didn't understand how to explain it to him without sounding like "that angry black guy". After that and a few mildly racist jokes told to me by white dudes over the years I have learned to just say no to jokes. Without fail a nondescript white guy in a bar wants to talk about race relation and then proceeds to tell a racist joke. There are always signs that the joke is going to racist. If said white guy has a smirk on his face or is looking around to see who is around to hear him, he is more than likely going to tell you a racist joke.

  When at a party, you want to stay way from drunk white dudes that are not your friends. These are the guys that are typically the racist joke soothsayers. The other night this guy says to me, I truly believe black people are genetically better at sports than other people. Never mind that they probably worked their asses off to get to the point of world class athlete. Never mind the socio-economic implication and some people of color. Sometimes sports are the only way out of their situation. Nope. Black people, especially black Americans are better equipped to play sports because of genetics. Let's just say this is true, slave owners bred Africans to be strong slaves. But you know, it's just a hypothetical.

  Ok so you need another example? I got you! Back in January I was at a bar in the wee hours of the morning. Myself and a group of white guys were all talking about dumb shit. This one guy asked if I wanted to hear a joke. I replied no thanks. To which he replied don't worry it's not about black people. Turns out it was racist towards asian people but he used all people of color as part of the joke. I let him know that I don't care if the joke is not directed toward black people, racist jokes are not cool. After I expressed my distaste for his style of comedy he in the word of Puffy Daddy "proceeded to give me what I need."

"Why don't black people like going into the water?"
"Man, what the fuck?!"
"You're not going to fool us with that again. Get it?! Slave ships and slaves."

I'm done white Jesus, take the wheel.