Forbidden Fruit

  There are millions of forbidden fruit walking about Seoul. You can see them walking up stairs, riding escalators and my favorite, getting into taxis. They are literally everywhere! These forbidden fruit are like ornaments decorating the city. They are always so neatly protected while being shipped via subway to their various destinations. When the fruit arrives at Samsung, Hyundai or (insert company here) they are admired from afar. If you're chosen, you can relish in its sweet nectar.  Oh, how we love thee Forbidden Fruit! Let me count the ways. Vagina, pussy and coochie to name a few.
  But if one more fucking boyfriend, newspaper, purse or over night bag blocks the fruit, I'm gonna...well er..uh..I'm not really sure what I might do. In my nightmare, I've always walked up to a gorgeous young woman and said, "I'm not one to complain but you do realize that your vagina is showing? Oh you do? So let me get this straight, you want me to pretend I don't see it and if I continue to look then I'm a fucking perv? Why you gotta slap me for?!" And then I wake up.
  Korean ladies, if you don't want  men/lesbians/people to look at your vagina then don't bare your fruit. Simply as that! Besides no one is thinking about how intelligent you are or how clever you may be. No one gives a shit about your PETA membership, your environmentally friendly Macbook or your semi witty barbs, OK. All we see initially is mini skirt, vagina and your panties that look like a hybrid between granny panties and mormon magic underwear.
  Why must you wear an outfit that from the waste up makes you look Muslim/office worker and from the waste down you look like easy access? I'm not advocating violating women physically but I am advocating looking at that fruit until your heart is content. I'd like to believe that women like to accentuate their physical beauty. For Korean women it might be legs but for Western women it might be breast or both. How many times have you heard a woman say "men don't see me, they see my breast." Still we must not overlook our initial form of attraction which has been with us since the beginning. And that my friends would be physical attraction. There is no argument! It is what it is. The other qualities become players when a person opens his or her mouth.
  There is a noted difference in the way Korean women (Korean nationals) dress in comparison to their Western counterparts. Summer, winter, rain and snow those legs are out and that vagina is always a light breeze away. For people that come to Korea for the first time, it can be confusing because at times the women dress like they are going clubbing when in fact they are just going to the store to pick up some instant noodles (wait that sounded kinda racist). You can never tell the occasion by looking at a Korean woman's attire. Whereas with Western women the attire typically matches (I could be generalizing here) the occasion. Trust, she may not look like a hoochie but she won't look like confusion either.

  We should just cut the bullshit. Men and women wear/do certain things to attractive the opposite or same sex. We are no different than our cousins in the animal kingdom in this regard.  Men and women dictate what the opposite or same sex finds attractive. So if it's a mini skirt during a blizzard so be it. We still must take into account that men dominate our respective cultures and what men want generally speaking, men get (which brings up questions about gender equality).
  To my beloved Korean sisters, I only ask that if you are planning to have a night out on the town, take a taxi so that you don't have to go through the hassle of covering your vagina with a pocket book. And if your gonna go to work in a revealing miniskirt...yeah you might want to  rethink that. Wear a skirt that almost comes to your knees. You may still be the apple of our lustful eyes but at least we can't see your Forbidden Fruit. Oh and one last thing, don't look at Western Women with the stank face if her shoulders, arms, cleavage or back is showing because if you hadn't noticed we can all see your vagina. DON'T SLAP ME!